Why I won’t be participating in the Women’s March

** UPDATE: This post received a lot of unexpected traffic. It resulted in our site crashing, and more than 45,000 comments. I have chosen to turn the comments off because I can’t keep up with them and they are slowing the site even further.

Originally, I planned to go through each comment, approve it, and reply. But when I read several comments stating that my son should be taken away from me so he doesn’t end up as the worthless mistake his mother is, I decided I don’t need to read 45,000 comments of hate. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

This is not to keep people from sharing their beliefs. I encourage that on other mediums. It’s just that my family’s little blog wasn’t made for this amount of traffic.

If you have comments, please refer to these FAQs:


I am a champion for women. I believe in equal rights, and actively despise pop culture references to a woman’s worth being found in her body alone. I want to see more women CEOs. And, I think girl power is a real thing.

But, I won’t be supporting the Women’s March on Washington tomorrow.

I’m fully aware that my stance, and this resulting editorial, will anger some people and cause heated arguments. And trust me, I wish that wasn’t the case. I wish I could go to the march, or even the local marches it has inspired.

I can’t, though. Until every woman is welcome at a march for women meant to unite women and stop alienating women… I just can’t.

If you haven’t heard the latest news surrounding the Women’s March, you may be wholly unaware that the organizers and supporters have banned women who are pro-life from attending. Not only have they asked those women not to attend, they have said some pretty derogatory things about them.

Innocently scrolling through Twitter, I saw messages that tore down women for their beliefs. They accused pro-life women of being anti-woman. Sometimes, they accused them of “not being women at all.” Whatever that even means.

Folks, I try not to be political on my blog. I even wrote about why I don’t talk about politics with my friends. So, I’m not going to take a stance on pro-life or pro-choice right now. But, something needs to be said about this paradox in our culture.

women's march

The idea behind the march is to invite the marginalized to congregate and support one another. But, have the organizers not considered that pro-life supporters may feel marginalized themselves? They get called names, excluded, and questioned. They are often afraid to show their faces.

A visit to the Women’s March website has me so confused. This is their mission:

We stand together in solidarity with our partners and children for the protection of our rights, our safety, our health, and our families – recognizing that our vibrant and diverse communities are the strength of our country.

So, the goal of the Women’s March is to support women.

Yet, they’re accomplishing this by actively alienating a large portion of that audience.

Since when did “recognizing that our vibrant and diverse communities are the strength of our country” mean “except for those who believe in the rights of the unborn, they don’t count as diverse”?

How can we set an example of inclusion, understanding, and freedom to choose if we simply refuse to accept all walks of life?

For just ONE DAY can’t we all come together and UNITE as a solid front? Can’t we set aside our differences? Race, sexuality, religion, and politics don’t define us.

Pro-life women don’t make bad leaders. They don’t make poor doctors. Their view of reproduction doesn’t mean they won’t one day cure cancer or become the president. Why exclude them from this historical event? Why restrict them from tools that may inspire them to make a difference?women's march

Had this referendum not happened, I would have taken my son to a march. Because being feminist is not being pro-choice. Being feminist isn’t burning bras, protesting, and throwing away cosmetics. It is simply believing in a woman’s freedom to do whatever she wants.

The verbiage on the Women’s March website ends with a capitalized call to action:


I encourage the organizers and supporters of this mission to do the same for those they’ve alienated. Because if being a feminist means picking and choosing who you think is a real woman, I want absolutely no part of that.

women's march


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29 Comment

  1. “Innocently scrolling through Twitter, I saw messages that tore down women for their beliefs. They accused pro-life women of being anti-woman. Sometimes, they accused them of “not being women at all.” Whatever that even means.” A) You think that 3 million people are going to participate in a movement like this and there aren’t going to be some that present their views in sometimes hateful ways? B) Pro-choice women are not trying to take away your right to NOT have an abortion, that is the difference. C) Pro-lifers are some of the most vicious, vitrolic people on social media when it comes to what they believe in, so please, be honest and stop acting like every single person out there who is pro-life is just a sweet, gentle person who would never call anyone a derogatory name for not sharing their views.

  2. Can you please site evidence in which the organizers have banned pro life women?

  3. Below is my comment taken from a FB post sharing your blog post. Where did you get the information stating pro-life women were unwelcome and specifically excluded? As I state below I don’t believe tha is in the spirit of these marches — or in the spirit of feminism. And to that end, I agree with your post — all women (and men, and those who don’t identify as cisgendered) should be welcomed at events like this and by feminism in general.

    From my FB comment: I wish this author would point to an official source stating that women who identify with pro-life values were unwelcome and prohibited from attending the Washington march or any other. Individual divisive posts on Twitter do not speak to the motivation behind these marches, nor should they be representative of every woman who supported and participated in the marches. I followed closely the organized efforts for both the STL and the DC marches and not one time was a statement made excluding anyone – man or woman – based on being pro-life.
    I identify as a pro-choice feminist and my understanding of those terms is rooted in protecting your right to choose what is best for you, individually, and your right to stand up for what you believe in — be that an anti-abortion stance or a pro-choice stance. I am disheartened to learn that there are groups of women who felt they were not welcome and would be excluded from yesterday’s marches. I don’t believe that is at all in keeping with the spirit of feminism or the peaceful protests organized around the world yesterday. If that language exists in some official form – please bring that to my attention.

  4. One thing about organizing something for millions of people, especially in just a couple months, is that there are going to be people who slip through or are left out. And the great thing about our networking is that people can still speak out even after they’ve been neglected. Thank you! Reproductive rights are such a difficult and religiously charged debate; it’s pretty much impossible to address without causing pain and fear to take over. It’s excruciatingly vulnerable, to defend your body by saying “I have the right to abortion”, but there is so much injustice in our countries dominance -still – over the female body. I’m not excusing the people who made hateful remarks towards pro-lifers. You are absolutely right, we want to promote unity here, that is the whole point. I would like to know what leaders in the DC made derogatory remarks, if you could share that source please. If the remarks you’re talking about came from March participants, then they are part of the small percent who are not aligned with the vision the DC leadership formed, unification. There’s always going to be those people, it seems. The march was not just about, or even headlined with reproductive rights. Pro lifers have also been ones to hurl hateful rhetoric to those who want control of their own bodies. To look past these insults from a few and press on with the fight for justice and freedom is to have faith in that vision of unity. Honestly, those who cry out about pro lifers being mistreated – to me – are like white people (which is my skin color) who cry out exclusion in response to black lives matter. Anyway. If people truly believe in the importance of this movement, a lot of people at different points, are going to have to press through to keep fighting for the greater good. Share your concerns, yes, but don’t flip the switch and paint everyone the same as the small few who can’t stick with the message. Unity. It takes sacrifice, in unequal quantities from everyone involved.

  5. oakcityfolk says:

    Hey! Thanks for your perspective. There are a lot of articles out there about this, but here’s one I found:


  6. oakcityfolk says:

    Hi Diana,

    Thanks for your perspective! Love to hear it. I just want to point out that I didn’t say that every single pro-life person is sweet. I know that’s not the case! I just meant, in general, you shouldn’t ban a group for the actions of a few. It’s nice to hear your thoughts though!

  7. A Kindred Spirit says:

    Thank you for pointing out the double standard today’s third wave feminists use to both advocate for their cause while at the same time discrediting women who don’t agree with everything they want feminism to stand for. It seems one can rarely criticize the feminist movement without being met with vitriol these days, so it’s always good to see people take the risk anyway.

  8. I understand where you are coming from but have you ever thought that there are women out there that have been rapped and forced in to pregnancy? Also there are women that are pregenet and their bodys can not handle the pregnancy and need an emergency abortion? Finding out after the fact they are unable to handle it? And there are teenage girls that get pregnant and end up getting beaten to death because a family member didn’t agree? I am sure you have heard it all but I don’t know your circumstances or if you ever been on that side of the fence but until your in that shoe I feel we don’t have the right to tell others what they should do with thier body’s. If your one of those that believe men have the say well their not caring a pregnancy now are they? It’s not their body’s or health. It’s ours. Now these are my believes and I am not putting yours down but god forbid if I get rapped and millions of Americans have a right because of their religion and thier believes tell me that I have to keep a pregnancy is not right and shows no freedom of choice. It’s wrong in all ways. I saw my mother go through that. I saw a friend get put down at a clinic for her choice to not have a child from a rappest and women should understand that and be supportive. I have a feeling that could be why there calling those women no women at all. Now I don’t have a right to tell you how you choose or what to believe but as women I would hope there are enough women that can support others and this weekend proved it.

  9. I really appreciate your perspective! I didn’t identify with the tenets of the Women’s March, but there are other women’s organizations based around blessing and helping others instead of demanding “more” for themselves *from* others beyond basic human rights.

  10. Question: how would one reconcile abortion is murder with my body, my right? The two ideologies can not coexist. If policy removes a women’s right to chose, then she has lost her right to autonomy. If policy supports a right to life policy, then women lose their autonomy. How do both principles match side by side?

  11. I’m a little bummed you didn’t post my comment. I thought it was respectful while representing the other side.

  12. “Being feminist isn’t burning bras, protesting, and throwing away cosmetics. It is simply believing in a woman’s freedom to do whatever she wants.” On this I agree, but does your being pro-life impugn on my belief that it’s my body, my choice? Because true freedom and equality doesn’t leave room to pick and choose what rights I have. True freedom does not allow for people who have never known me and never will to dictate what I do for myself, in my best interests. Someone else’s perception of right is no more right than mine. A person who attempts to force their version of right onto others can never be a feminist. Feminism is not a mad grab for power. It’s a person’s inherent understanding that men and women both deserve the right to equal ground in their pursuit of happiness and everything beyond.

  13. oakcityfolk says:

    Hey Betsy! I have my site set to have comments approved because I have a family and I want to make sure they’re protected by private info that may be posted. Because this post gained unexpected traffic, it has been crashing all day and I haven’t had a chance to approve and reply to all comments due to that interruption. I just saw this one though and wanted to clarify the situation. No one is being censored here. 🙂

  14. BTW, I might have posted duplicates of some of my posts because I didn’t know if it was the wordpress database or my computer.

  15. oakcityfolk says:

    You are my spirit animal. Thank you for the support. It’s funny because this blog is just something fun I do for my family so I didn’t expect all the hate that came as a result. Oh well! It proves my point. 🙂

  16. oakcityfolk says:

    Hey! I actually didn’t read your full comment because I was taken aback by the first sentence. I purposely did not state my stance on abortion. So, that was a personal attack when I didn’t say whether or not I agree with pro-life. I was just speaking as a voice for my friends who do. I 100% hear you on this, so please understand that questioning my character isn’t really necessary here. All I want is for all walks of life to feel welcome at an event for women. That’s it. Thanks!

  17. Love this post! You basically put into words what I’ve been thinking and feeling. Thanks!

  18. oakcityfolk says:

    Hey! I actually never took a stance on abortion. I did that on purpose. So, you actually don’t know my thoughts on the matter. I think it’s always better to open that dialogue with someone before making assumptions. But I appreciate your perspective nonetheless!

  19. oakcityfolk says:

    Thanks! So nice to hear a positive comment. I’ve learned that hate spreads so much faster than love today.

  20. oakcityfolk says:

    Hey Chris! I actually never took a stance on the political issue. You don’t know what my thoughts are, because you didn’t ask first. I was just speaking for those who told me that they felt this way. Thanks!

  21. It shouldn’t matter why you are probably choice or pro life. I thought this was suppose to support all women. I didn’t go because all I feel is anger and division. I’m glad I didn’t have to stand there and listen to Madonna talk about blowing up the White house or Ashley Judds crude remarks about wet dreams and blood stained sheets. I’m sorry, as women we can do better.

  22. So instead of writing a blog, DO something about it. Three women started this, just three, and it created in a very short period of time what we saw yesterday. So? DO something about it.

  23. OakCityFolk, you sound like a nice person, and your article is articulate and expresses some important points about unity among women being needed for true progress to occur. However, what you have unintentionally proven here today in this comment section is that the Women’s March was not about the election, women’s rights, equality, squat. It was about protecting abortion rights using Federal dollars. So, good luck with managing these comments. You’re doing a good job, but you have opened a can of worms because until you bow at the altar of full-term, federal-funded abortions, you are not fully a woman. Signed, Pro-Life Woman from Ohio

  24. oakcityfolk says:

    Hey! I don’t think that saying I’m not “fully a woman” is appropriate because you’re assuming I believe in certain things I never said. I never expressed my opinion. This is just a person’s personal blog, it’s not meant for people to spread hate. People can be pro-life and support women’s right, as you yourself have stated.

  25. oakcityfolk says:

    It’s funny you say that without actually knowing what I do or don’t do. Do you know what groups I’m involved in or where I spend my time and money. Nope! But, your point is a good one and I hope those you care about things will get involved.

  26. oakcityfolk says:

    Thanks, Lesa!

  27. […] Why she didn’t attend article (with hostile replies): http://oakcityfolk.com/why-i-wont-be-participating-in-the-womens-march/ […]

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